Shields Down
by UnicornRobot
Summary: Kara and Lena have been spending more time together after the Lena practically delivered a whole flower shop to her office. But it's in a friend way... Or it's not. Kara is confused and messing things up. Lena is burying her feelings.
1. Chapter 1

Takes place after 2x13. This mentions the Mister Mxyzptlk storyline, and Mon-El but neither are who Kara's fallen for.

Chapter 1/?

* * *

It's not like this is her first lunch with Lena, but Kara is fidgeting.

She's at a bistro with fabric napkins (this is getting beyond her budget) and cute tea lights and fancy bread and she's wondering why she feels like dancing and vomiting indiscriminately.

Since the flower delivery Lena and Kara have been spending more time together than usual.

Not implying that it's unusual.

It's perfectly _usual_.

And spending more time with a _friend_ , well of course you'll think of them more. So it's completely understandable that she keeps thinking of the flowers as well…

They're kind of a perfect example of Lena Luthor… beautiful, impressive and almost intimidating.

 _Did she do that for everyone or was this… special?_

Just thinking of the gesture almost causes another blush to rise to Kara's cheeks.

She's been looking forward to this lunch all week. After saving Lena that night all she wanted to do was relax, but instead Mon-El came over.

She does care about him. And yeah, okay, she thought he was sorta hot when he first landed. But her flirty banter has transformed to general banter - that which she would have with a brother. His? Not so much unfortunately.

And then to make the night more awkward Mister Mxyzptlk had to show up.

 _"Is HE why you're not interested?_

 _"What? Gross. No. I don't even know him!"_ __

 _"Darling, I love you. You don't_ ** _need_** _to know me."_

If she could get headaches she'd have a huge one right now.

Kara rubs her crinkled forehead. The frustration with Mon-El was only compounded by another "suitor" because now he thinks that with Mister Whatever out of the way he'll have her full focus, but all Kara really wants is -

"Lena!"

"I'm so sorry I kept you waiting. I hope you haven't been here long."

"Don't worry about it!"

Her response is a little over eager and she almost tips her water glass over. Lena's eyebrows jump up playfully.

"I've told you to cut back on the coffee, ace reporter," she laughs.

"Sorry, ugh, I'm so clumsy."

Sitting down, Lena smiles, "It's _charming_."

Kara groans at this, a slight over exaggeration to the compliment it seems.

"I would really not like to be 'charming,' or 'sweet' or 'breathtaking,'" this one see says with a roll of the eyes, "for a minute."

She just can't help but recall all of the adjectives Mon-El and Mister Mxyzptlk threw at her in their pissing contest.

Lena pauses for a second while setting her napkin in her lap. This has perked her interest.

Lena fixes Kara with a bemused grin, but if she was being honest with herself - and let's be honest together, Lena is bury this deep - she's also secretly curious to know where, or who, all these compliments are coming from.

"Well that might be hard for you, Kara…" she pauses. "I'm starting to think that I'm not the only one complimenting you."

"God I wish it was just you."

The color from Kara's face drains. "I mean… it would be… I'd find it - that was weird of me to say. I just meant -"

"It would be less frustrating," Lena finishes, showing the poor girl mercy.

"Yes, exactly."

The waiter comes by and Lena orders without checking a menu. Kara asks for her recommendation because there's a lot of French words at this place and while Kara speaks two languages French is not one of them.

"I can't believe I'm being so rude! We're talking about me and _boy trouble_ when you were attack!"

Lena brushes it off with a slight wave of her hand.

"I'm surprised something like that didn't happen sooner."

Kara isn't buying it. She gives her brunch partner a questioning look.

"Honest, Kara. Plus, talking with you afterwards… well it really helped. It's good to have friends like you in the city."

Should a word like 'friends' make you physically ill? Maybe it was just something Kara ate. Like the completely mild bread…..

"I'm always here for you."

Lena reaches across the table to gently place her hand on Kara's.

"I know. And you have no idea how much that means to me."

Butterflies are erupting in her stomach.

 _What is in this bread?_

Lena pushes hers down with the rest of her repressed memories.

The meal carries on similarity - minus the references to almost being thrown off a building, but both are deeply preoccupied with their own thoughts.

Kara is confused over, well almost everything about Lena.

And Lena is wondering why she never wants to hear "boy trouble" cross the threshold of Kara's lips.

* * *

It's almost 12:00 and if Kara isn't back early Snapper might killer her… well she'd probably make front page for once…

The check is dropped of and Lena leaving her card before Kara can even move towards which is weird considering, you know, superpowers.

"Lena."

"Kara."

"You don't have pay for me."

"It's the least I can do."

"No. No more of that. You aren't indebted to me for saving you - plus that was Supergirl. No more of this 'I owe you.' Friends look out for each other okay?"

"Well then maybe I just want to. Regardless…" She's not exactly smiling, but Lena's eyes are sparklingly like she is and there's a confident upturn to her lip, a try-and-tell-me-not-to sort of mirth about her.

Kara is blushing. It's not about the money, though she's guessing this brunch cost more than her weekly grocery bill. She feels… appreciated, taken care of.

"That's… thank you. It's really sweet of you."

"Don't mention it." They both standing to leave. "Plus, with all of these boy vying for your attention I ought to set the bar high."

Kara tilts her head like a puppy.

"Why's that?"

Lena gives her a small smile in response before leaning into a goodbye hug.

She places a light kiss on her cheek and is saying goodbye before Kara has even processed her last sentence.

Hopefully only a few moments have passed because Kara snaps out of her fog to find she's just staring off across the bistro like a dunce and she'd rather have few as people possible witness that..

On the other hand. She almost doesn't care with how fast her heart it beating.


	2. Chapter 2

"Supergirl! Watch out!"

A boulder slams into Kara's shoulder, sending her into a midair tumble.

Alex cringes, dodging the fist of buff, stoney alien.

"You okay?!"

Kara rights herself.

"Yeah, just getting started." A whoosh of air and Supergirl is back in the fight. Kind of.

 _"I ought to set the bar high."_

Another boulder hurdles into Kara, this time to the stomach.

"Pay attention!" Alex is trying to scream loud enough to be heard over the fight.

They're in the middle of nowhere, only within site of the highway. This fight is against some low level thugs - it shouldn't be catching Supergirl off guard, but she's… preoccupied, let's say.

Having been thrown to the ground, Kara is trying to shove the dizziness off. Another blocky dude is coming at her, but J'onn sweeps in with a might punch to the guy's face.

"Supergirl, are you alright?"

Kara shakes her head, trying to dispel her thoughts.

"Yeah, just a little off today."

J'onn lends her a hand.

"Well you better get 'on' because it looks like they have friends."

The aliens are multiplying, increasing their numbers to about a dozen.

Supergirl squares her shoulders and looks at the nearest target.

"Finally an even fight. Let's go!" She races forward.

* * *

The lights of the machine pulse. Kara lies on the bed and soaks in the extra does of yellow sun like she's tanning and not in the DEO's med bay covered in monster-sized bruised.

Alex is eyeing her with concern.

"Not to sound harsh, but you were awful out there."

"Gee, thanks for sugar coating."

"Sorry Kara, but man. You took so many hits. And your agility! Wow, I haven't seen it that bad since we were kids."

"I get it!" It comes out angrier than Kara meant, but it's not exactly wrong.

Alex puts her hands up in surrender.

"Whoa, sorry." She sets her clipboard down and pulls up a seat next to her sister. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, it's - yeah. Things are fine."

"Uh okay," Alex says it sarcastically, but her tone is gentle. She waits a beat. "So how long do I have to pry before you give me the truth?"

Groaning, Kara sits up and turns the machine off.

"I'm really fine. Nothing bad has happened…"

"Then what was with today? And yesterday? And honestly most of this week."

Sitting on the edge of the cot, Kara gently kicks her feet back and forth. She avoids eye contact with Alex, only whispering a soft "I don't know."

Okay, Alex recognizes this look. She can see 11-year-old Kara hiding on the bottom bunk in her bunny pajamas, refusing to spill her first human crush. (It was Tommy Carson. 11 1/2. He had a scooter with light-up wheels.)

Alex moves her chair closer to the bed and leans in.

"Okay, spill. Who is he? Oh my god! Is it James again? I always thought you were so cute together! It was such an abrupt end -"

Kara pauses as she gets off the bed to to wave off Alex's words with a hand, "No, Alex, _no_. It's not James or… anyone. I'm fine really. No crush."

"Oh, yeah, _okay_. That's why a bunch of Dryads kicked your ass."

If looks could kill - well Kara's could, but she wasn't going to laser her sister for an irritating comment… not yet at least.

Alex rolls her eyes before fixing Kara with a try-me-again stare.

"Who would I even be interested in, Alex?"

"I don't know. Mon-El. He's obnoxious, but I gotta say, the boy's got a great jawline."

Kara is almost out of the med bay, Alex trailing behind, when she stops to laugh.

"Yeah because I want to be someone's mom for the rest of my life. No, Alex. It's not Mon-El. That ship sailed - hopefully into outer space, never to be seen again." She suddenly spins around to come face-to-face with her sister. "There's no crush!"

And she's out, purposely using a little superhero magic to boost her speed.

Using her hands to project what she says: "Yeah! And Maggie and I are just friends!" Alex looks around to see a few co-workers giving her a weird stare.

* * *

Kara is flying over the buildings of National City. She has never wanted to find trouble this desperately.

 _C'mon. A break in. A mugging - give me something!_

It's not this fair to be irritated at Alex, but she really was pushing. Kara isn't one to keep secrets from her sister - but this wasn't a secret! What would she be hiding? That she's been thinking of her brunch with Lena Luthor all week? That's - that's not a secret. It's just. It's just a -

 **Something breaks - "IDIOT!"**

 _I know that voice._

A sharp turn and Kara is flying with determination towards a very familiar building.

* * *

Within seconds of hearing the breaking glass, Supergirl is on Lena Luthor's balcony and rushing into the office.

She's looking for a fight, but all she sees is a very broken Lena and an equally broken glass chess board on the soft white carpet.

Her shoulders relax instantly and she walks over to the young CEO.

"Lena, are you alright? I heard - "

The Luthor gives a deprecating laugh and drops the bits off glass she managed to pick from the carpet. "God, I thought this day couldn't get worse." Lena sinks back against the couch, sitting on the floor.

Kara kneels down and starts picking up the pieces.

"Was it a gift or -"

But Lena shakes off the idea like Kara is simply missing the point.

"I try to preserve what little good there was of my childhood, you know? Riding lessons on my favorite palomino Demeter, reading 'Through the Looking Glass' under the cool sheets of my bed…" She motions to the destroyed board game. "Playing chess with Lex… And for what? Every time I attempt to find good…" She looks away from Supergirl as tears threaten to spill.

Kara moves from the chess board to Lena, resting a strong hand on her shoulder.

"There is good in this world."

Lena motions subtly with her hands as if to say "where?"

"Lena, believe me…" Kara waits until the brunette's eyes find hers. "There is good here… good people… I - I know the situation with your mother can be hard. And trust me when I say I can relate to family letting you down. But don't let go of the good. Don't think it - it doesn't matter. That's what makes you different from all of them - from Lex and your mother. Don't give up."

Lena gives her a sad, watery smile. She places a cool palm on Supergirl's cheek.

"You always show up when I need saving, don't you?"

Kara returns her smile with a determined one.

"And I always will."

Blue meets blue and the women hold each others stares for a few beats too long to be friendly. Kara breaks the contact with a growing blush, ducking her head to hide it.

"God, I'm probably keeping you from people who _actually_ need saving." The tone is upbeat as Lena tries to lighten the mood.

She starts to get up, but her burgundy dress doesn't allow much movement. Supergirl offers a helping hand and the two end up standing face-to-face much like before.

Lena breaks gently moves her hands from Kara's.

"Thank you… for being a good friend. It's been a trying day."

"With what you're going through? I don't blame you Lena."

Kara earns a thoughtful smile in response.

"Now off you go. I can't keep National City's hero all to myself."

Walking towards the balcony door, Kara can't help but glance over her shoulder to where Lena is standing. A few hairs are out of place, her eyes a little red from crying, but she looks perfect. Incredibly perfect

"Take care of yourself Lena."

And Kara if off.

"You too Supergirl."

* * *

When Lena walks into her office the next morning see first sees the small card, but her attention quickly diverts to a beautiful chess set that sits on coffee table.

Lena's eyebrows knit in curiosity and she abandons the task of taking off her coat to exam the mystery gift.

The card is simple, just a folded piece of white card stock.

 ** _Don't lose your hope._**

The look that sweeps over Lena's features is part smile, part gratitude as she reverently closes the card. A hand brushes over the frosted glass of the chess board and she looks outside to the city skyline.

A small smile playing on her face.


	3. Chapter 3

They don't mention the chess board the next time they see each other, or the times following. Everything that could be said they each already know.

Lena's gratitude is shown in her eyes every time Supergirl checks up on her and it happens often, as Supergirl is stopping by more.

They don't talk about that either.

It's weird, but Kara is almost jealous of Supergirl. Right, of course she _is_ Supergirl, but the hero gets to approach Lena with grace, with confidence - as a freaking hero. Not as a rookie reporter who's heart almost breaks out of her chest with a smile from Lena Luthor.

And it's extra weird because she almost hates hearing Lena talk about Supergirl – like her imaginary competition – because Kara Danvers might be Supergirl, but she'll never be better than Supergirl.

Lena cares about Kara, but Lena _adores_ Supergirl. At least this is what she's deducted. She hasn't exactly spoken with Lena… So it could be completely made up, but she convinces herself it's not.

She wishes she could drink.

"Kara Danvers."

The smooth voice knocks Kara out of her moody thoughts. She looks up to see Lena Luthor dressed in black and green, eyes sparkling and a smirk on her face.

"I think you're avoiding me Miss Danvers."

Kara clumsily drops her pencil and readjusts her glasses.

"Wha – why would you think that?"

Lena just grins and sits across from her.

"I like your office."

Kara makes a "pfff" sound and shakes her head. "It's nowhere near as nice as yours."

Lena tilts her head; she's trying to read the girl in front of her. "You're right. I like it more. It's very carefree, very homey. It fits you perfectly."

Like most compliments coming from Lena this one makes Kara duck her head and blush. Lena can't help but secretly congratulate herself.

"I haven't seen you lately…" Lena tries saying it in a friendly manner, but she seems genuinely hurt. Kara has been avoiding her and she feels bad. Recently the report can feel something growing between Supergirl and Lena and, okay yeah, she's jealous. Lena seems to drop her guard around Supergirl and plus, who likes sharing…. friends?

That sounds so fake, even to Kara.

The confusion has caused her to withdraw, focusing on a pile of articles and leads instead.

"I know; I'm sorry Lena. I've just been busy." Technically not a lie.

"Of course. Sorry," Lena pushes the thought away with her hand and her demeanor lightens. "I'm being so silly. You'd think I only have one friend in the world." She frowns. "That would sound less pathetic if it weren't true."

"You and Supergirl seem to be getting along fine."

Lena gives Kara a curious look. "Yes, I supposed. She was very… kind to me recently."

"Hmm."

"What? Do you disapprove? Don't think a Super and a Luther can be friends?"

"No, I'm just wondering how well you know her."

 _What the hell am I even saying? You ARE her, dork._

Lena laughs in confusion, "Kara, isn't she your friend too?"

"Yeah, I guess," Kara sighs and rubs her eyes. "I guess I'm a little jealous. Supergirl is a hard friend to compete with."

The smile that comes to rest on Lena's face is one of endearment. She gently places her hand on Kara's, the younger girl looking up to meet her eyes.

"There's really not much of a competition as far as I'm concerned." With that Lena is picking up her sunglasses and purse. On her way out she turns to Kara "Stop by this week?"

Giving in, Kara smiles an "okay."


	4. Chapter 4

AN: Sorry I haven't updated lately! Got crazy busy with my job. I'll get back to more regular updates this week though.

* * *

Lena doesn't know why she agreed to do this. Okay, that's a lie. She does.

 _"It'll be fun - I promise." Kara stands in Lena's office with hopeful smile on her face. She wants Lena to come to the game night. The feeling is not mutual._

 _"Kara… I - I don't know. You're friends aren't my biggest fans._

 _"They just don't know you."_

 _"They don't seem interested in getting to know me."_

 _Kara furrows her brow, but brushes the comment off with a cheerful grin._

 _"They'll warm up to you right away!"_

 _"And you're sure they won't mind me crashing?_

 _"Of course not." Kara's smile grows. "So… does this mean you're coming?"_

 _Lena smiles and shakes her head. "Okay, okay. What time?"_

She hasn't knocked yet and she's already second guessing her choice of wine. These don't seem like wine people.

At least her outfit is hangout appropriate: dark jeans, red heels and a simple white shirt with a gray tweed peacoat.

A manicured hand brushes imaginary fluff off of a sleeve.

She's actually wishing she was in her usual work clothes. They feel like armor and she wears them like so: powerful, sexy and unapproachable.

Lena is back to second guessing the wine though. Maybe she should have gone with cognac or beer probably. Definitely beer.

 _Well too late now._

She raises her hand to knock, but the door swings open and she's met with Kara's grinning face.

"You're here!"

"I said I'd come."

"I was only 80-percent sure you would." Kara jokes, holding the door for Lena to pass.

"Better odds than I gave myself." She offers Kara the wine and receives a warm smile.

"Everyone this is Lena. Lena this is: Winn and James," the boys waive "and then you know my sister Alex and her girlfriend Maggie," they give curt smiles "and that's Mon- Mike." He ignores Lena's arrival and grabs another slice of pizza.

Lena's hello is cut off by a Kara rushing around getting Lena a glass and something to eat. "Do you eat pizza?"

"Kara, I'm a human. Of course I eat pizza."

Okay, so to be fair she _does_ eat pizza, but usually it's the thin crust, organic veggie slices from Isabella Pizza. But once again: not the crowd.

"What do you want to drink? We have your win, beer, grandpa whiskey that Alex and Maggie drink and oh - we have these, uh, wine spritzer things? I highly recommend them."

Lena smiles, "I'll give that a shot then."

Alex glides by and snatches the wine bottle from the two.

"I'm gonna dive into this then," She checks the label and whistles recognizing the fancy brand. _Sempre - is that French, no Italian? Whatever it's a completely gold label; I'm in._ "Corporate life, huh Luthor?"

Lena smiles tensely.

 _Yeah, beer next time._

 _This would be a lot easier if it were just Kara…_

Alex joins Maggie, who's sitting at the island, sipping her drink and trying to hide a smirk.

"What? What are you laughing at?"

Maggie just shakes her head.

Alex looks to where Maggie is staring - at Kara and Lena - then back to Maggie.

Kara is insisting that Lena have her sparkly wine out of a fancy glass, but she ends up almost dropping and breaking it during a nervous ramble.

Maggie snorts and shakes her head. The display she's witnessing is both painful and cute. She's also had a few drinks by now.

"Seriously! What, Maggie?" Alex keeps looking between her girlfriend and the other two women.

Lena sets her arm on Kara's, instancing that she doesn't need any special treatment, causing the younger Danvers to blush.

"Oh my god!" Alex's a little tipsy and not terribly quiet as everything clicks into place.

Maggie hushes her through a fit of laughter, but Kara has definitely heard and she's giving them a suspicious stare down.

"I didn't break it this time, calm down."

"Sorry," Alex turns to Maggie, " _Oh my god_!"

Maggie gently pats Alex on the shoulder.

"Surprise babe."

* * *

The six occupants, all various stages of tipsy, circle around on various chairs and couches.

Let the games begin.

"We should start with charades." Kara chances a glance at Lena almost checking to see that this is ok with her.

"Normal teams?" Winn asks, but he's cut off by Mon-El who's been sipping his alien beer (and yes, Kara's had a little bit as well).

"Well we can't exactly do _normal_ teams now."

It's obviously directed to the tall brunette sitting next to Kara.

Maggie rolls her eyes. The guy sets her nerves on edge.

"How will we manage?" She deadpans.

Mon-El ignores Maggie and puts on a smile.

"Oh well, Kara and I will have to be on a team regardless."

"I - well, I was thinking I should be on Lena's team. Since she's new."

"But I'm new too…"

"Uh… but she's, uh, she's newer…"

Lena tries to interject, but Mon-El cuts her off.

"C'mon Kara, we've had this whole _streak_ going you and me. Remember last week? We were practically reading each other's minds." Mon-El shoots her his attempt of puppy eyes.

The blonde looks between him and Lena.

"I, uh, I…."

Lena goes to talk again, but it cut off once more.

"Lena can keep score. She's the reason the teams aren't even anyway."

"Don't be an ass." This comes from a slightly drunk Alex.

Mon-El shrugs, oblivious to everyone's discomfort with his bluntness.

"I can keep score. It's fine."

"No Lena. That's not any fun - "

"Really, Kara. I don't mind."

"We can all take turns ref-ing," James suggests and Kara gives in finally.

The first rounds are fine, but Kara is getting distracted and more irritated. Has Mon-El always been this… _clingy_?

Currently they're acting out movies for their partners. Maggie guessed Alex's in about 10 seconds and James just called Winn's.

Kara's pantomiming a scene from the _Wizard of Oz_. Mon-El snatches his head.

"Uhhhhh, _Star Wars_! Wait! No! _Jurassic Park_!"

Getting frustrated Kara moves more dramatically, over exaggerating her movements.

" _Looney Tunes_?"

Lena fights back an eye roll and glances at the timer - three seconds.

 _Wizard of Oz_ , _moron…_

"Times up."

Kara drops her arms to her side with a 'thump.'

"It's _Wizard of Oz_."

Mon-El shoots her a wide-eyed look. "How was I supposed to know?"

"We watched it a few weeks ago, I said 'I love this movie.'"

He shrugs.

This pattern of frustration - Kara and Mon-El coming in last - continues.

Maggie offers herself up as tribute and volunteers as the ref a few rounds later, but this leaves Alex and Lena awkwardly sitting next to each other. As tense as they are you'd think Lena was _actually_ sleeping with Alex's little sister…

James picks up on the situation.

"Uh, how about we switch teams."

Mon-El goes to protest, but Maggie cuts him off for once.

"Great idea. The ref approves. I'll chose the teams too." Pretending to really ponder her choices Maggie pairs Mon-El up with Winn and James up with Alex. "I guess that just leaves the both of you."

"Good luck beating our record." Mon-El gently bumps up against Kara with his shoulder and sends a challenging look over to Lena as they switch seats.

"I think I can beat last place," Lena's all smiles, but there was a bit of an unintentional bite at the end of her sentence.

Alex's eyebrows shoot up. _Oh this is gonna be gooddddd_. James grabs a swig of his beer in preparation.

As for Mon-El? He looks like he wants to punch Lena, but hides it with a smile.

The following rounds move faster, but tension is building as Kara and Lena push closer to first. Mon-El and Winn keep bickering because _someone_ is taking this a bit too seriously.

"Dude, it's _The Matrix_."

"How was I supposed to know! This is a stupid game anyways!" Mon-El tosses a pillow off the couch and pouts.

Kara is snapped back into the situation and away from the gentle warmth sitting next to her.

"Uh, we could play a different game?"

"With seven people? What's the point?" He continues this show of disapproval.

"How 'bout we take a break?" James gets up and stretches. "Anyone hungry? Mon - Mike, help me get some snacks together? We can just run across the street."

James coaxes Mon-El up off the coach and out of the door.

Lena starts to get up herself.

"I should probably get going."

Kara jumps up so quickly Lena has to move a step back in order to not be knocked over.

"What? But we're getting more snacks!"

Maggie motions Winn to come over to the kitchen with her. Alex simply sits drinking and watching the exchange with the Luthor and her sister. The two older woman have a stare off before, begrudgingly, Alex gets up and follows Winn.

"I have to be in the office early and it's getting late. But I really appreciate you inviting me."

Kara's face is an oxymoron, a mix of hopeful and crestfallen.

"Was it - I'm sorry Mike was being rude. He had too much to drink and -"

Lena rests an hand on Kara's arm.

"It's fine."

Truth be told it's not fine.

 _Is this Kara's boyfriend? Are they involved? Am I seriously threatened by a man child?_

Without knowing much about Lena Luthor, it should still be easy to deduce that she _hates_ being out of control of her emotions. And right now she's pretty irate.

Kara walks with her to the door.

"Thank you again for inviting me, Kara." She looks to Alex, "enjoy the wine."

The redhead gives her a thumbs up as she pours an extra large glass.

Before she leaves, Lena feels a firm hand on her upper arm and then Kara Danvers is pulling her into a quick hug.

"I'm glad you came over. Even if it wasn't perfect."

And god, Lena can't help the smile that spreads across her face.

"Me too…"

When the door shuts, Kara's mood is immediately drudged back into frustration. She lets out a loud groan.

Winn, Maggie and Alex all exchange looks, a who's-gonna-deal-with-this-one kind of look.

Winn's about to speak up, but the door opens with Mon-El leading James back into the apartment.

The latter has obviously been the victim of some sort of rant from the Daxamite.

" - she's so cold and rude!"

Mon-El turns from James and is met head on with a glare from a certain Kryptonite.

"What?"

Everyone tenses up at his oblivious question.

This is going to be uncomfortable…


	5. Chapter 5

They've been held hostage and the room feels like it's closing in on them.

There's no where safe to escape to; every possible exit is blocked off so James, Winn, Maggie and Alex just huddle together.

The air has been sucked out. Replaced by anger. Replaced by harsh slams -

\- verbal slams that is. Kara and Mon'El haven't stopped yelling at each other since Lena left and every time a hostage tries to meekly excuse him or herself, Kara shouts that "they're having fun and everyone just needs to sit down and play a freakin' game."

So James, Winn and Alex remain on the couch with the latter hogging a bottle of whiskey.

Winn slinks farther into his seat, whispering "I've never been so scared in my life. And my dad is a murderer..."

Alex pats his knee and turns back to the scene. She should be the adult, step in between the two feuding aliens and act as a voice of reason. But to be fair she's pretty drunk and this is kind of funny.

Her sister and Mon'El are circling around each other like cats. But Mon'El is more Tom and Jerry than Animal Planet. He's throwing his arms all over the place as he yells back at Kara, asking her how she could be so naive to trust someone like Lena.

"Oh well isn't that the pot calling the uh, the - "

"Kettle" Winn, James and Alex deadpan in unison.

Kara thrusts a finger at them.

"Yes! Isn't that the pot calling the kettle black."

"WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?" Mon'El is tugging at his hair, frustrated by another seemingly incoherent earth phrase.

"It means you're being a hypocrite and - and mean."

This causes him to chortle.

"Oh, I'm mean. Lena Luther wants to kill aliens!"

Kara's fist slams down so hard on the island a fracture runs through the surface.

Alex passes the bottle over to James.

"That counter is going to be a bitch to replace," he murmurs and Alex mentions something about a supply of replacement counters.

The Kryptonian is facing away from Mon'El and the rest of the group, a hand rubbing the bridge of her nose and slightly bumping her glasses ajar. Breaths are labored, coming in short, hot spurts and she tries to even them out.

Mon'El has never set her off like this.

But -

But what he said about Lena isn't fair.

Her attempts to settle her breaths fails and Kara shakes her head with a frustrated sigh.

She shouldn't be so upset. It's weird...

And the dejection that follows that realization drags all the air out of her, deflating her chests like a balloon. The fight is gone and now she's just tired. Gone are the tense muscles and deep frown.

She turns, having heard nothing that Mon'El has been sputtering, and fixes him with a solemn gaze.

"Just go home ok?"

"Kara -"

But a hand held up in front of her stops him - for once - and Mon'El glumly walks out. Winn and James practically fly off the couch, offering Kara a completely falsified thanks that she can't help but call out. They shrug, tell her not to worry about it, but make a haste break for the door. Maggie makes a lame excuse about looking for some tools to fix the island and wanders out of the room to give the Danvers sisters space.

"So I think that went well." Alex's cheeks are pinked by the alcohol, but her vision is just fine so she doesn't miss Kara's glare. Lugging herself off the couch with deep exhale, Alex gets her footing and walks over to her sister.

Jokes aside, something is up and it's time for Alex to be wise.

She thinks she might throw up a little...

Before she can depart any words of wisdom - or spew - Kara spins around with a huge smile on her face.

"Friends fight. It's completely fine."

Alex stumbles a bit, as if Kara's mood has some weird force field knocking her back. (Or maybe the force field is called Wild Turkey).

"So nothing's going on? Nothing's up with you or Mon-El?" Alex pauses and then pushes gently, adding, "or Lena?"

Something flickers across Kara's face and she sputters, crossing and uncrossing her arms.

"That is just - why would you think that?" She barks out a laugh that raises Alex's eyebrows. "That is just... silly." A hand moves to her glasses. "Lena and I are fine."

Alex snorts, almost losing her balance. She subconsciously moves a little closer to the counter, placing a hand on the cool surface.

"Yeah, I can tell."

"Wha...?" Kara forgets that she's supposed to be fine for a second and the air hangs between them. She could be brave. Or... "You've had too much to drink, okay? Time to get you to bed!"

Maybe if she was a little more sober she'd push. But Alex also knows what it's like when you don't want to face your fears, when you don't want to question why you're thinking of that girl's laugh, why a single text can send you spinning. It's only fair to let her get away with what Alex got away with for 10-plus years. At least for now.

Maggie pops out from Kara's room, shockingly having found nothing to patch up the counter.

"Should we head out Al?"

The older woman regards her sister for a second. Kara doesn't budge. They aren't talking tonight.

"Sure, yeah."

Maggie places a hand on Alex's lower back, guiding her to the door. She gives Kara a reassuring smile, before whispering something to Alex who just shakes her head in response.

When Kara is finally alone she feels a confusing mix of both anxiety and relief. Absently she starts cleaning up, grabbing dirty glasses and beer cans. When she nears the island again with the bag of trash, she spots the crack and groans. She shoves the trash into the garbage can, and whips off her glasses. Being Kara Danvers is too complicated right now. Pulling gold hair out of a ponytail, Kara is quickly shedding her day look for her cape and boots.

Flying should clear her head.

* * *

Flying did not clear her head.

Supergirl spent the night circling the block of Lena's penthouse like a half-assed stalker. Overtime she thought she'd plucked up enough courage to check on the CEO, but every time Kara decided 'yes, I'll do it' she'd make a harsh stop and flip herself around, this time intent on going home and not being so fucking weird.

After 45 minutes of pathetic self-doubt Supergirl finally made the only decision she could muster: go look for bad guys. Maybe some glowing orbs or two. But outside of a few muggings haunted, the real big bad stayed out of sight. Just like villains to let you down...

It was just before sunrise that you could see a slouchy red and blue figure mope its way home.

* * *

Jess, who's normally lukewarm to Kara, seems like someone had turned the tap cold. Her quick rebuttals catch Kara off guard, causing the blonde to keep tugging at the edge of her light blue sweater. By the time Jess is done telling her just how busy Lena is, Kara's nervously untucked the sweater out of her khakis and moved on to the fiddling with a button on her bird print button up.

"Can-can you just tell her I stopped by?"

"I will try to remember." Jess smiles and it was about as warm as a kick to the groin.

Kara's about to leave when Lena's office door flew open. Lena is looking down at her phone, poised as always.

"I'm just going to take lunch here again Jess -" The CEO sees that her assistant isn't alone and puts on a smile, though it seems just as forced as Jess's. "Kara, so sorry I haven't been able to return your calls. I've been -"

"-busy," Kara finishes for her.

Lena's smile falters for a split second. She goes to say something, but Kara interrupted again.

"I was hoping I could talk to you. Just for a minute." Nervously she nudges her glasses back up and for some reason that's what make Lena say yes.

"Uh, well... sure. Yes that would be ok," the CEO turns on a black heel, before looking back. "But it does have to be quick. I have a meeting."

Kara tells her she won't take up too much of her time and Lena attempts flashing an appreciative smile, before turning back to her office.

* * *

They stood a safe distance away and just held eye contact.

Lena tried to find strength in her appearance, in the posh and stand-offish black and red hues she wore today. Like Supergirl she had her own armor she worn. And like Supergirl sometimes it wasn't enough.

She pretended to fix a strand of hair in her bun, playing the role of complete and utter patient. Cooly detached and expectant of Kara to start this little dialogue.

After a few seconds Kara realized that the brunette wasn't going to say anything, she was just going to keep this act up like she had for the past few days.

The past few days since the night at Kara's apartment...

And while Kara had come here to apologize, again, she was starting to get a little frustrated too. It's not like she planned to make Lena feel unwanted. It's not like she can control what Mon-El says. She had tried - she had tried to let Lena know she felt bad that it ended how it did, but of course the CEO had to withdraw and play dumb: short, impersonal texts, pretending like she could barely remember Mon-El's tantrum, always just 'so so busy...'

So yeah, Kara had come here to apologize originally, but now she didn't understand why it was up to her.

Crossing her arms she huffed out, "You're being a jerk."

Lena stopped pretend-fixing her hair mid-motion; her eyebrows were arched as high up her forehead as they could go. "Excuse me?"

Exasperated, Kara let's her arms flap to her sides.

"I didn't think it was going to go like that. And I've said sorry. Like a hundred times." Once again her exasperation turns to frustration and taking a step forward. "You haven't even been talking to me. By all means, be pissed at Mon- Mike, but I didn't do anything. "

Lena's professional demeanor cracks now and she huffs out an angry laugh.

"Right, because there's _absolutely no way_ you knew what you were putting me in." She steps closer to Kara now. "You just innocently thought we'd all have a blast and that Mike would be toasting me by the end of the night."

Kara frowns, "I mean -"

"I definitely wasn't invited to get some kind of message across." The remark is biting and Lena's eyes are hard. She's closed in on Kara at this point and the older girl isn't sure how to respond. Shouldn't she have known something like that was going to happen? Did she selfishly put Lena into that situation?

Her brow furrows and she takes a step back from the fuming brunette.

"I... I wasn't thinking Lena." The smile Lena gives her isn't of understanding. It's an I-knew-it smile, tinged with bitterness.

"Whatever is going on between you two, I am not a way to sort that out." This confuses Kara more than any interaction they've had in the past week. What does Lena even mean by that? Kara was just inviting her somewhat controversial friend to hang out, not to throw this new friendship in Mon-El's face. How would that make a guy jealous? Guys aren't jealous about that stuff.

 _No stupid, guys are jealous about competition._

"Lena, I wasn't trying to use you..."

The CEO crosses her arms, pursing red lips.

"Are you sure about that Kara?"

When the blonde doesn't answer, Lena just shakes her head and turns. Making her way to the desk, she tells Kara that Jess can show her out without even a glance back.

Kara stands abandoned in the middle of the room; Lena is pretending to enthralled with the paperwork before her, ignoring any pleas for acknowledgement. When it becomes clear that she isn't going to look up, Kara storms out of the office.

Once the door shuts, Lena tossed herself back in her chair and throws the papers of her desk. A shaky hand covers part of her face.

This is not calm and collective. This is not in control, Lena.


	6. Chapter 6

Jess considered calling in sick for the first time since she'd started working for Lena Luthor - actually the first time since her freshman year of college when she thought she'd rebel against her Type A nature and do something daring. (She used her day off to catch up on French III homework).

Out of all the Luthors, Lena was by far the most considerate of her employees and while that hadn't changed necessarily, something about Lena had. She was cold. Honestly she felt a bit like Lillian lately - minus the psychopathic tendencies.

All if this leads to why Jess is relieved to hear someone in Lena's office this morning. It'll give her a few moments of peace before she's hit with her boss's emotional baggage.

* * *

Kara shouldn't feel this relieved to be sharing space with Lena Luthor again. After all it was only a few days ago that they had their talk. Fight?

Regardless, Kara'd be lying if she were to say her palms aren't sweaty and her heart beat isn't an extra tick fast.

The last few days have been hell. She thought the time following Lena's exist from her apartment were rough - oh no. Whole new level. This fight was tearing her up and even she wasn't in so much denial to say it was 'just an argument with a friend.' Albeit she didn't know what to classify this as, 'a disagreement between pals' was not getting the title.

Her friends must know that it's particularly bad as they stopped bringing up the shouting match between Kara and Mon-El when they realized she wasn't pissed at him. Hell she doesn't care enough to be pissed about him. She just hated that it reminded her of how stupid she was not to stand up for Lena when the woman was actually there.

It might be the first time in her Super career that she's sustain some bruises from subpar baddies ... Distraction wasn't good for her. And well, probably not for National City either, but Kara Zor-El is figuring out that she has a bit of a selfish streak.

All of this might make it seem like her immediate reaction to hearing Lena needed her help, okay fine Supergirl's help, would be joy but that definitely was not it...

 *****earlier today*****

 _"So what, she thinks she can just call you up now?"_

 _Maggie and Alex are standing side by side with the detective's phone innocently held up in her hand. They are luckily, or not so luckily, the only others in this part of the DEO._

 _"Like, she doesn't even know you and Supergirl is MY friend."_

 _The two older women exchange confused looks._

 _"Uh, Kara... you are Supergirl," Alex talks like Kara and lost her mind - and maybe that's not far off._

 _"Yeah but she doesn't know that!" Kara spins around on them again. "I INTRODUCED THEM!"_

 _Alex and Maggie exchange another confused look before the brunette tries offering some reason._

 _"Okay, but... if she needs help and you're - wait, isn't this... is this not a good thing?" She asks the last bit to Alex who just holds up her hands and shakes her head in response, equally bewildered._

 _The red cape snaps violently back and forth as Kara goes back to pacing._

 _"Does she just think she can go around texting MY sister's girlfriend asking about MY friend?"_

 _A sharp turn of the foot and Kara is back in front of the girls demanding answers._

 _"I - I... Alex, a little help here?" Alex places a hand on Maggie's, before turning her attention to her little sister._

 _"Kara, I thought you wanted to see Lena? Isn't this a good thing?"_

 _Something in the sincerity of Alex's voice breaks through the facade of frustration and Kara's tone has changed from petty anger to a much worse emotion: dejection._

 _"She was supposed to ask to see me!" Her shoulders slump, dragging the cape across the training room's floor. "She was supposed to ask to see me, Kara, not... her. Not Supergirl. Not for business..."_

 _She's trying to hide her face from the other two now. Someone wouldn't almost be crying over a friend._

 _"If she can't even text me about contacting Supergirl, a completely non-personal interaction - what does that mean because it's starting to seem like a pretty solid sign that Lena isn't looking to reach out? Maybe she's just done with me. Maybe she doesn't want to deal with - with whatever the hell I'm doing."_

 _Maggie and Alex aren't quick enough to respond._

 _Kara ignores Alex's outstretched hand and started walking away._

 _"Wait, Kara! C'mon, don't do this! Where are you going?"_

 _Pausing in mid-air Kara answers that she's "getting it over with" before taking off._

* * *

To almost anyone else, the young Luthor would seem just as professional and aloof as usual, but Kara feels that maybe Lena's a little relieved to have Supergirl here. The conversation is revolving around a potential break in, but Lena looks only half interested in her own words.

Wrapping up the bullet points of the attack on security, Lena stops pacing and looks up to Supergirl.

"It's probably nothing..." She shakes her head, a little embarrassed. "I shouldn't have called you. My team is more than capable of handling an average hacker - hell even an above average hacker, but on the off-chance it is something -"

"Hey, I'm glad you called. If someone is trying to access L-Corps' archives they're likely not up to anything good. Do you know what files in specific they were trying to look at?"

Lena shakes her head no, adding "Not yet, Jess has some of our people tracing keystrokes and the such." Another brief laugh and then Lena reiterates that she "probably can take care of it in house," hell she kind of figured that in the first place actually. The admission is uncharacteristically open and Kara jumps at the chance for an explanation.

"Then why did you ask for me?"

A much more characteristic move from Lena now; she bites her lip and looks up at the superhero.

"Would you believe me if I said I just like having you around sometimes?"

Kara reaches her hand out (and yes, she considered she probably should), placing it on Lena's arm.

She's felt guilty for the past 45 minutes as she's stood in Lena's office, feeling like she's betraying the woman's trust in a more malicious way than any other time Kara's hid her identity from the CEO. But Kara can't help feeling both ashamed and grateful for having kept that secret from Lena now.

If she hadn't then Lena wouldn't have reached out... God, she's be pissed knowing that the girl she's been avoiding is stoically standing in the middle of her office as she's letting her guard down.

The conversation flows into a natural pause, both having glanced down at Supergirl's hand, before Kara does something she know's is definitely not respectable.

"Have you considered calling Kara Danvers - to alert her for a story I mean?" The knots in her lying little stomach twist.

 _Secret identity - maybe forgivable. Feigning ignorance to our fight so I can gauge her emotions? Probably not so much..._

The tightening of Lena's jaw and lack of response answer everything that Kara needs to know and though she's not surprised her stomach drops a little.

"We aren't... on great terms currently."

Supergirl's stance is not very super right now and a little too Kara Danvers. The alien forces herself to stand up straighter.

"Oh, I, uh, see." Nervous eyes dart away from Lena's face. "I'm sorry to hear that. I'm sure she's sorry she's upset you."

This catches the other woman's attention.

"Has she said something to you?"

Realizing her stupid mistake Supergirl's eyes grow comically large and she enthusiastically shakes her head.

"No, no, no. She wouldn't uh, gossip about you!" Just lie to you, she thinks.

The look in Lena's eyes is unreadable and Supergirl stumbles on, whether advisable or not. "I can just tell you're upset. And if you're not talking to Kara, well..." Supergirl shrugs as if to say 'connected the dots.'

The air shifts suddenly and gone is the shadow of Lillian Luthor, like a ghost leaving Lena's body. She drops her shoulders and head before giving Supergirl a look that makes Kara want to punch herself.

"I almost wish you did so I wouldn't have had to try keeping this facade up, but..." she paused before deciding to continue honestly, I'm just really, really tired," A humorless chuckles escapes, but then Lena's clenched hand goes to her face as she tries not to cry.

 _Kara, you absolute idiot._

Lena tries apologizing, even turning away, but Kara can't go. She should go because that's what's right. If she can't be honest with Lena she at least shouldn't pry like this.

But Kara really can't tear herself away before a not so good idea destroys any resolve of leaving.

Catching the brunette as she's about to turn away again, Kara is stepping in too close and placing a warm hand on her cheek. The younger woman's eyes remain shut, but they relax. Her crying stops softly, like it too is shocked by Kara's actions.

Allowing herself a rare moment of vulnerability, Lena walks in closer to the girl offering her compassion, a reprieve.

And Kara is pretending it's really her, not Supergirl - actually she's almost forgotten her predicament or has pushed it out of her mind enough to tenderly grab hold of Lena's elbow and usher her closer.

"I don't think Kara would like this..."

It's said so quietly that Kara could almost take it as an out, pretend not to hear it. But she didn't even need superheating to catch the words.

Showing up and playing dumb about the fight could likely be excusable. Lena needed Supergirl's help; it was a professional visit that stumbled into a grey area. But this is just on the cusps of crossing some kind of line. It's more than a lie by omission. It's deceptive and not just a little bit selfish.

Supergirl is Honestly and Justice and Bravery.

But Kara is human in the non-biological sense, so she leans in and whispers "Kara doesn't need to know," before gently cupping Lena's face and kissing her.

Lena let's herself be pulled in, not wanting to take charge, not wanting to be in control for once. She let's herself be cradled between the strong palms on the side of her cheeks before tentatively resting her hands against the House of El crest.

* * *

They're taking a seat on the couch now; Jess has already been told to hold calls. The CEO pulls her legs up onto the cushion in the relaxed manner normally reserved for a certain reporter. Kara notes this and feels oddly jealous. She doesn't want Supergirl getting this display of comfort, but she knows it's weird for her to even think that. She really doesn't have to right to call betrayal after her antics today.

A little hum brings her out of her head.

One of Lena's manicured hands toys with a couch seam, distracting the woman for a second before she peeks up at Supergirl through thick lashes.

"I should not feel this relieved to be having a business meeting."

Kara cocks an eyebrow. "Is this a business meeting?"

A shadow of a smile plays across Lena's face.

"No, I suppose not."

Lena shifts, breaking any tension.

"I can't believe I still only have two friends in this city and one of them I only see when I'm being kidnapped or framed!" She laughs, not catching the solemn look in her company's eyes. "It would make fighting with a friend a lot easier if my supply wasn't so short." Her head turns slightly to look at Kara. "I guess you would get that."

And she kind of does. Because even though Kara has a lot of friends, Supergirl can be a lot lonelier.

"Or are you a modern Super, hm?" She must be referring to Clark because for all his talk about the importance of secret identities, he sure has told a lot of people.

Lena's still resting her head in a hand, propped up by the back of the couch. "Does everyone but me know your secret?"

Kara can't place Lena's tone.

"I..."

And Lena's once again rolling her head away, looking up at the ceiling.

"If you tell me who you are I'm afraid I won't like it."

The knots are at dangerous levels now, but Kara manages to stammer out a "why not?"

"Because A. I'm wrong and you're a stranger who'll never live up to the person I've suspect you are or B. I'll be right," she pauses, "and that will be much worse because it will break my heart..."

The silence in the office is overbearing.

When she doesn't get a response, Lena tilts her head back to look at Kara. "So which one is it Supergirl?"

Kara sits there dumbstruck.

Her mouth opens a few times to say something, but before she can manufacture a sentence Lena's face turns into a sad smile and she sighs.

"I thought so."

And now Kara knows she has to say something because if she doesn't, if she can't think of the right thing to say to fix this, to let Lena know she can be trusted, well then it's really done.

But despite her lack of response, Lena lets out a tiny breath and the sad smile returns. A few tears build up in the corner of her eyes and she just says "Goodbye Kara."

And for some reason the only thing that Kara can think is that Lena got the explanation wrong for Option B. It'll break both their hearts.

* * *

AN: I really hope you all like this chapter... In the show there's all this talk about "oh no what would happen if Lena found out Kara's Supergirl" but it's never hit me as that big of a deal. I mean, yeah maybe she'd be like "yo why didn't you trust me to tell me" but honestly I feel like Lena would get over it. I wanted to have some motivation for distress over finding out. To feel like Kara is hiding her identity because it's easier for her to get close to Lena that way, because she isn't brave enough to be honest - that is something I could see hurting Lena. Addition to that: I don't like Kara being portrayed as pretty much perfect. She should have some flaws (or it's boring). Anywayyyy, hope you all enjoyed it.


	7. Chapter 7

A satisfying _crunch_ rings out as the Gordanian slaver busts through the brick wall. Kara launches herself forward through the falling debris, ignoring Alex's calls to hold off.

"Damnit," Alex hisses her frustration but moves forward regardless, following her sister into the makeshift entrance.

The abandoned warehouse reeks with the scent of sweat and waste. In the belly of the room sits four metal cages, large enough to hold 15 aliens each. With another fighting ring having cropped up, the DEO has been on the trail of a group of Gordanians, known for enslaving other alien races.

Large, barred doors hang open on the cages, blood and urine are sprayed across the floor. They must have moved their victims recently.

Alex fights back the urge to vomit, focusing her thoughts on where her unhinged sister is. But moving her thoughts to Supergirl brings up a bubble of anger and the older woman grinds her teeth.

Kara has been unpredictable and hothead the past two weeks, throwing herself – and Alex – into dangerous situations. Just a few days ago, the Kryptonian walked them into an ambush. A DEO agent sustained a gash to the head when he tried to provide backup. Supergirl's response was to demand what the agent was thinking, that she had it under control, that he could have been seriously hurt. Alex stormed out of that argument. But she's here again as backup because no matter where her reckless mess of a sister goes, she'll follow. Unfortunately.

An inhuman groan directs her attention further into the warehouse, her eyes still adjusting to the dark.

Kara is suspended in the air, fist pulled back like the string of a bow. She shoots forward in a blur, punching the square green jaw of the Gordanian. Another blow is landed to his gut, causing the slaver to groan. A third blow slams into cartilage and the alien's head snaps back as he loses consciousness.

"SUPERGIRL!"

Kara is pulled out of her daze, her fist pulled back again, ready to strike. She gets the feeling that Alex has yelled a few times by now, but she ignores her sister, instead asking if the DEO can handle things from here. Before Alex responds, Kara takes off.

* * *

She no longer does her nightly loop by L-Corp, but Kara still manages a quick flyby of Lena's apartment. She reasons that the high tech corporation has enough ammo to handle itself, but Lena is still a likely target for humans and aliens alike.

It's also the only time she feels like herself, heartbroken, but like Kara and not the jackass she's turned in. Because yes, she's definitely aware of how irresponsible and caustic she's become since the fallout with Lena.

Kara's promised that as soon as she hears that the woman is safe and sound, she'll bolt. She may have crossed some lines in the past, but there's no chance in hell that she's going to start stalking. Once her super hearing picks up soft breaths from the penthouse she's gone in a flash of red and blue angst.

* * *

Slipping through her open window, Kara walks out of the bedroom expecting to drink some wine and mope alone. Instead, a furious-looking Alex meets her.

"Were you planning on containing him at any point or just murdering him?"

The Kryptonian defiantly crosses her arms over her chest. "Well, he's contained now."

Alex scoffs at this. "Seriously? You were a few punches away from killing him."

"He's trafficking aliens!"

"And you don't _kill_!"

The apartment fills with silence, the two sisters staring each other down. This is the fourth yelling match they've had in the past few weeks. Kara doesn't look like she's going to budge on this one either and the oldest Danvers sister is too exhausted to keep up.

All of the fight leaves Alex, and she drops her shoulders. With an exhausted sigh, she fixes Kara with a pleading look.

"I'm so tired of fighting with you. What is going on Kara?"

The youngest girl keeps her arms crossed, but diverts her gaze.

The façade is cracking and Alex takes the opportunity to slowly move forward. A dark shadow hangs over Kara's face, even the blue of her eyes seems faded. While Alex was concerned before, she's now convinced that something is incredibly wrong.

She places a gentle hand on her sister's arm.

"Kara, please, what's going on?"

When her sister meets her eyes, Alex sees the beginning of tears.

"I really messed up Alex… Lena hates me."

"Oh, Kara." Girl problems. _Of course_ , it's been girl problems. If anyone should have guessed, it should have been her, Alex scolds herself.

She pulls her little sister into a hug.

"I don't think she could hate you, Kara."

The younger girl shakes her head in protest. "She does, Alex. I broke her trust and she's gone now."

Putting Kara at arms length, Alex fixes her with a stoic gaze.

"Kara. Lena adores you. I don't know how I missed it for so long – Maggie likes to bring that up, like uh, sorry my gaydar isn't as developed yours Maggie –" Alex catches the look Kara fixes her with. "Anyway, not the point. Lena looks at you like you're the sun."

"She doesn't like sunlight."

Alex rolls her eyes so hard that if she wore contacts they'd be halfway to her brain by now.

"It's a _simile_ , Kara."

Yielding, the blonde pouts while Alex continues. "Look, I know I haven't been the biggest fan of Lena – "Kara re-crosses her arms " – okay, not a fan at all, but I guess that hasn't really been fair. Lena has been there for you. And-and if you care about her then she has to be pretty wonderful."

It's noticeable that Alex is still wrapping her head around the idea of Lena and Kara as something more than friends, but the fact that she's trying is comforting.

They move to the couch now and Kara snuggled up in the corner. Legs curled under herself, Alex rests her head on a hand thoughtfully, "so how'd you screw it up?"

Kara laughs morosely, but starts telling Alex how things changed between her and Lena – she starts with the beginning. When she mentions the butterflies at lunch and Lena's light flirting she can't meet her sister's eyes, opting to fiddle with the frays on her throw blanket instead. A warm blush crosses her cheeks, but she powers on.

"And then I maybe said 'Kara doesn't need to know' and kinda kissed her."

"Ooooh. That is mildly gross."

"She realized I was Supergirl just after that."

Alex's face squeezed up like she just watched a car crash, which metaphorically she sort of did.

"I retract what I said about 'it can't be that bad.'"

" _Alex_ ," Kara whines and sinks lower into her corner of the couch.

Giving her sister a sympathetic look, Alex's eyes soften as she answers more seriously, "She'll forgive you, Kara. It was wrong to take advantage of the situation, to pretend not to be Kara Danvers and take the easy way out. But," Alex sighs softly, "you love her."

The blonde opens her mouth to refute the claim, but Alex cuts her off. "Don't even try Kara. You've been a wreck that past few weeks. You've turned down potstickers, you've made Winn cry after slamming the new Star Wars and you almost super-punched an alien to death - you love Lena Luthor. Now get off of your butt and fix things."

Pulling in a shaky breath, a look comes over Kara's face that Alex hasn't seen for a while. It's part determination and part Kara Zor-El, maybe the closest balance there is between Supergirl and Kara Danvers.

"Thanks, Alex… I think I need to take off now."

Alex motions toward the window.

"Get outta here!"


	8. Chapter 8

"How was traffic?" The flatness of her tone dashes any hopes Kara had of immediate reconciliation.

Lena's stands in the entrance, hand firmly holding the door against her side. She's dressed simply in black leggings and a fawn shirt. A dark brown house cardigan hangs from her shoulders as if to provide a shield.

As she leans against the door frame, Lena brings a glass of pricey Cabernet Sauvignon to her lips.

Previously emboldened by Alex's words, Kara now stands drenched in uncertainty.

"I'm - I'm glad you're home."

Lena takes another pointed sip of wine, eyes dark green and expectant.

This was neither what Kara was hoping for or expecting. Like a salve to a wound, optimism forged from heartbreak told her that time apart would lessen the tension between them. It had soothed the pain, but now Kara can see that time has only strengthened Lena's resolve. Contemplating bailing, Kara draws her mouth into a thin, sad line. Supergirl will not let her leave, whispering to her to push forward.

"I... can I come in - please?" She adds on hurriedly.

Her eyes mimic the roll of her head, but Lena stands aside nonetheless.

When Kara slips past her, the brunette purposely lets out a frustrated huff.

The floor is a brilliant white throughout the penthouse. Large windows make up one wall, letting the darkness ebb in. Unsurprisingly the place is impeccably stylish and modern. It'd be fair to say slightly cold even. If Kara were to see Lena's bedroom or office she'd be met by a different ambiance: dark rich woods, deep purples and dramatic art. But it's safe to say she's not going to be invited into either of those rooms tonight.

As the blonde turns to face Lena, she musters up a meek small.

"I'd offer you wine but I don't want you staying."

The smile immediately crumbles, ushering in a string to the corner of each eye.

Kara tries to hold onto the fact that Lena did let her in. At least there's that, right?

"I'm sorry, Lena." She thought of a hundred different ways to start this conversation, but the reserved woman in front of her looks like she might cut this off at any moment so Kara rushes to the point.

"I should have told you. I shouldn't have kissed you - not like that, not when you so needed Supergirl to be someone else." Kara looks down briefly, "to be someone other than Kara Danvers." She brings shaking fingers to the first button of her polka dot dress shirt. "You should have found out like this: me in front of you, being honest."

A peek of blue material appears after the second button is undone. Kara looks up from her hands and is hit with disappointment. Lena looks on blankly, the only hint she's feeling anything the tightening line of her mouth.

Kara's fingers trip uncertainly over the third button and she has to look back at her hands to continue.

"Don't bother," the sharp words ring out before the blonde moves to the fourth. Fingers hold plastic and cotton, she looks up cautiously.

"I already know who you are, so don't bother." Lena's face has changed from impassive to angry.

Fully clothed, Kara feels naked from Lena's biting words. When she planned this out -the solemn words, the sincere reveal - she didn't expect Lena to just stare her down.

They stand frozen in Lena's massive foyer. Kara can stop right now and try again later... but will there really be a later?

Ignoring Lena's demand, Kara starts again. A sigh of _what_ meets her continued efforts? Frustration? Sadness? Kara isn't sure, but she ignores that too.

She can't meet the icy gaze, so she keeps her head down, not even watching her hands, and unbuttons the shirt until she's just a few buttons above where the fabric tucks into her forest green pants. The El family crest is now partially visible as the dress shirt starts falling to the sides, revealing the place between Kara Danvers and Supergirl.

She hears something choked and sad from Lena, but she can't face her yet.

"My name is Kara Zor-El. Twenty-four years ago, my planet, Krypton, was destroyed. My cousin Kal-El was sent to Earth as an infant. I was sent there to protect him - the last child of Krypton." When Kara looks up her eyes are no longer foggy with tears. A brilliant blue meets Lena and she physically takes a step back. "I think you probably know the rest," the blonde continues. "I hid as Kara Danvers for most of my life until Alex's life was endangered. And then I became Supergirl. If this is the last time we talk then I want you to know the whole story." She shrugs gently, before meeting Lena's eyes with a quiet resolve. "I want you to know everything."

Kara finishes taking off the shirt, her fingers nimble and efficient.

Lena isn't sure if this confidence is the woman's Supergirl side or Kara side. Maybe it's her Zor-El side.

Once the shirt is gone, Kara works on the rest of her clothes until she's standing in her uniform sans boots and cape. Lena's eyes are drawn to the compact red fabric that Supergirl is now holding. With a snap of her wrists, the fabric unfolds, reaching forward like shaking out a bed sheet before flowing back to Kara, who already has the top of the cape clipped to her shoulders.

Obviously, Lena has seen Supergirl dozens of times before, possible hundreds counting TV clips, but watching the transformation firmly plants the heroine in reality. Not even a kiss could do that. Once an enigma, Supergirl now stands before her as her best friend.

Kara has been talking this whole time, detailing the past two years to Lena, when she gets to the past few months, Supergirl stumbles a bit before carrying on.

"I knew I couldn't have you in my life as Supergirl, not in _that_ way, but I was too scared to as Kara. So I lied. And I kissed you and I pretended for a second that there wouldn't be repercussions for hiding who I was or for... for lying when you needed to know." Her head drops in shame briefly. "I don't know why I said what I said. I guess I didn't think Kara Danvers could get you to love her."

"I guess you were wrong."

Kara's head snaps up. She carefully read Lena's posture, her stormy eyes, the downturn of her mouth. The woman has crumbled slowly since Kara changed and now she stands dejectedly, her arms wrapped around her small frame as if to hold herself up.

"I... I guess I was." It's a question, but the only answer she receives is the turn of Lena's head. At this angle, Lena Luthor is all cheekbones and pedigree, and crushing heartache.

Not often has Kara Zor-El witnessed something both heartbreaking and beautiful - like the death of a star. Her stomach rolls violently.

Lena can't bring her head back to center and meet Kara's eyes. She holds her gaze away, clenching her jaw proudly as tears start rolling down her cheeks.

Kara would run to her. Supergirl would give her space. What would Kara Zor-El do?

 _What do I do, what do I do, what do I do?_

It drums through her bones, getting louder as it intertwines with rushing blood.

She doesn't know how she's supposed to act in this situation - none of this has gone according to plan. But she knows Lena. She _knows_ her...

Kara Zor-El pitches forward, arms encompassing Lena as the woman loses her fight, small stature bending over to accommodate wracking tears. But Kara is there, strong arms holding her star up.

 _You don't disappear tonight_. She vows it. _Not tonight, not ever._

At first, Lena tries to pull out of the embrace, but Kara silently shakes her head and pulls her back in. She whispers sorrys and please forgive mes into dark hair.

Eventually, Lena hugs her back.

They stand molded together against the backdrop of the city, the twinkling view engulfing them. If anyone were to look up from the street, though, they wouldn't see Lena Luthor nuzzling deeper into Supergirl's grasp. They wouldn't see the hero drawing her in tighter, and they especially wouldn't hear the soft murmurs of sorry whispered sporadically into the brunette's ear. They'd just see the mirror-like windows reflecting the city back at them.

* * *

Lena doesn't really know why she's crying. Well, to be more accurate she's not sure what's making her cry more: Kara apologizing, being confronted by the overwhelming fact that the women she loves is, in fact, a superhero, that she loves this woman, that she's mad at this woman, that this woman just described the destruction of her home planet, that Lena herself is a little wine drunk - really take your pick.

Eventually, she untangles herself from Kara and, slightly more composed, Lena takes a step back. With a shaky breath, tear tracks are wiped from her eyes and she fixes Supergirl with an exhausted look.

"This doesn't fix everything."

Hurt mars Kara's face and Lena continues, "but we're better just not... I just need time to think."

Her words are met with a solemn nod.

Taking a step forward, Lena places a tentative hand on the downturned face, cupping one of Kara's cheeks.

"I've missed you."

The watery smile that Kara gives her is enough to break her heart all over again and she tiredly leans her head on the hero's chest, arms bending to laying beside it. Instinctively, Kara moves her own hands to cup Lena's elbows. The touch is so soft that Lena wonders if it's a superpower as well.

Breaking the moment, and it has to be broken because Lena was being truthful - things aren't 100-percent ok, she takes a step back again and smiles weakly.

"Shouldn't you be out saving the city?"

Reading the moment Kara smiles and gives her a subdue "guess so," but she can't hide the doubt and slight disappointed behind it. She wants to kiss her, pull her close and run her hands through her hair, lay in Lena's likely huge bed and hold her tight.

But that's not tonight.

 _But maybe it's another night?_ Kara offers herself.

She tells Lena goodnight and makes her way to the balcony.

"I'll show myself out," she says with a rueful smile, seeming much more like herself.

"Be safe, Supergirl."

And then she dives over the balcony's edge.

* * *

 _AN: Wow wow wow. Thank you to everyone who left comments. I haven't done this before but I wanted to name specific people who really have made my day with commenting as I've been working on this story so thank you Healer, Tear of Light and Heatwave16 for posting some of my favorite comments._

 _Anyway... I just want everyone to know I'm so grateful for the comments_ and _hits. I read every single review and they really help push me through the frustrations of writing while dyslexic :P_

 _Chapter 9 is already underway so expect that in the next week. ALSO: I'm working on another SuperCorp fic.  
_


	9. Chapter 9

Texting returns first. It starts slowly over the next few days with a simple message from Lena reading "Good luck" before Kara is supposed to cover a major conference. Kara spends five minutes trying to think of the perfect response before realizing she's late to an editorial meeting and sending "Thanks! :)", which is exactly what she started with.

But even after an hour of radio silence, Kara can't stop checking her phone every few minutes hoping for a new message. When she arrives at the hotel - a fancy four-star establishment that decorates everything in mahogany and red - she's still peering at the screen.

 _Last message from Lena Luthor: 7:17 am._

Kara starts typing out a casual "how's your day going," before she shakes her head and deletes it. Walking through the entrance, she just happens to glance up from another newly composed text and nearly drops her phone.

The expansive foyer boasts a half a dozen replicas of alien species, shockingly life-like. Near the front stairs stands Supergirl and Superman. Tiny plaques read "Kryptonian."

Attendees seem just as amazed as Kara, faces in awe as they hover around the replicas. This brings her attention to the sheer volume of people in the room. There must be over 200 just in the lobby and likely more milling about before the first lecture starts. Above the awestruck masses, a large banner welcomes them with bold black letters, reading: _The Refugee Crises: Alien Inhabitants looking for Home._

Kara's phone is absently pushed into a pocket as she gazes up at the banner starry-eyed. There had been rumors about an unnamed presenter later today who would "revolutionize the frontier of human-alien cohabitation." Kara had begged Snapper to give her the story, literally begged him, and now she's ready to thank Rao for letting her be here.

How Lena is missing this she'll never know. Kara starts texting brunette, too shocked to remember that they just started talking again. She sends off her message - "I can't believe L-Corp isn't here! You'd be amazed" - while still taking in the room.

The response takes more time than it usually would, but Kara is too preoccupied studying the glassy eyes of a Sylvanian replica to notice. (She very quickly ducked past her own sculpture.) Two fingers lightly over the statue's ridged eyebrows, tracing the exquisite detail.

The phone vibrates again after five minutes to remind her of a waiting response, snapping Kara out of her trance. The dreamy, child-like smile on her faces drops momentarily after reading the text.

"We were interested but the organizers didn't want the Luthor name causing anymore controversy at an already controversial event."

Feeling protective, Kara indignantly types back about how they would have been lucky to have L-Corp class up their gig.

An immediate response comes in. Just a smile, thank you and "Have fun, Kara."

She feels a bit of sadness in the pit of her stomach, but looking around the room, Kara can't resist. The intrigue of what's to come is too much of a pull.

* * *

When the time comes for the first lecture to begin Kara is already sitting in the second row, pent-up excitement coursing through her body. Her program says the first speaker is an anthropologist studying the signs of previous alien-human interactions on Earth.

The lead of Kara's pencil waits, poised, above a fresh notepad.

* * *

There are at least 200 new emails crowding her inbox since she checked an hour ago. The CEO is twisted over her desk, pen tapping smartly and a pensive look planted firmly on her face.

Today has been a waste, her focus uncharacteristically garbage. With a frustrated groan, Lena reclines back into the chair. Right now a scotch and sweatpants would be nice, she thinks wistfully before unconsciously glaring at her heels and fitted burgundy and black dress.

'Look good, feel good' is woefully misguided.

The lack of work accomplished today is, unsurprisingly, due to a certain blonde. She hasn't seen Kara since they (kind of?) patched things up, and even with the deadline of a $10 million project looming overhead and she's obsessing over a girl.

A slim finger hovers over the first button on her office phone, before she sighs and drops the hand.

She could ask Jess for literally anything and the assistant would oblige. Unfortunately, focus isn't something Jess can just pick up.

For not even half a second the word "Adderall" flashes in her head and Lena's rolls her eyes.

"What are you? 17 and trying to seem cool in front of burnout Beckett? God."

"I'm sorry?"

Lena's head snaps up at the voice. She didn't even hear the door open.

"Kara, hi. I'm sorry I didn't see you there."

Kara smiles and shrugs sheepishly as if to say it happens all the time. Lena would almost believe her today - the modest skirt, the yellow cardigan, a neutral button-up and Peter Pan collar. But Lena can really see it now. It's not like it's all an act, no. Kara really is sweet and shy and ironically clumsy. But there's a certain self-awareness - control - that Lena couldn't see before.

She gets up from her desk because normally she'd be greeting the reporter with a hug. _Wait, wait, wait,_ her brain scolds. Lena stops abruptly in front of her desk. The air hangs between them for a moment.

"I hope I'm not interrupting."

Lena follows Kara's gaze behind her to the papers strewn across her desk. Turning back with a practiced smile, Lena says, "not at all" before asking what's brought Kara to L-Corp. They're back to the old game of reporter and CEO, trying to fit into those very confined boxes.

They're out of practice.

"Oh right! Sure, sure, sure." Kara fumbles her pen, finally clicking it open and pulls her notebook out of a messenger bag. The pad catches and a few items are pulled up with it. In human speed, Kara tries to save them, but the items tumble from her grasp and onto the floor.

Bending down to pick them up she mumbles an apology, her cheeks flushing.

"Couldn't you have just... caught them?" Lena asks as the blonde rises.

"Huh?" Kara looks down at the nicknacks in her hand. "Oh well," she glances around quickly from habit, making sure no is within earshot, "I don't like using the super stuff for regular things."

"So that's where you draw the line." It slips out before Lena even considers if she wants to say it.

Kara frowns and bites her lip, unsure of how to respond.

"I... I guess that's..."

Lena drops her shoulders, briefly bringing a hand to the bridge of her nose.

"I'm sorry Kara. That was uncalled for."

This time when Kara shrugs, she looks deflated.

"I'm trying."

Kara nods forlornly.

"I know."

The brunette makes a move to walk forward but stops herself, "It just..."

"I know..." Kara repeats.

They stand in uncomfortable silence for a beat too long.

"You," Lena clears her throat and replaces her facade. "You said you needed something?"

Kara shakes her head slightly, shifting gears.

"Yeah, I uh, I need to get a quote from you - for the convention. I know you weren't… there." Invited is the better word, but Kara continues on," but as the largest tech corporation in National City - well I'd appreciate your input. The main speaker, Alex Blake from - " she flips through her notes.

"- Home Space."

Kara looks up and nods sheepishly," right, right. So Alex Blake from Home Space discussed this huge initiative to create affordable housing for alien refugees."

Lena laughs humorlessly. "I'm sure the anti-alien groups love the idea of - hm let me guess - 'handouts' for non-American citizens?"

Kara sighs heavily and readjusts her glasses. It sends a twinge through Lena's heart. She does that when she's stressed.

"Yeah, they're not too happy with it."

"Xenophobes." Lena shakes her head. Kara's eyes soften sadly before she takes a deep breath to compose herself.

"Do you have time for some questions?"

Lena fixes her with an unwavering look. "Am I being ask as the CEO of L-Corp or as a Luthor?"

"I wish it were just the first."

Lena's mouth pinches. She tries telling herself that it's Snapper's angle, not Kara's. Hopefully.

"And you just want a quote?"

Kara looks away, her eyes flicker down at an angle. "Snapper... expects fallout from this event."

Arms crossed and a perfectly manicured eyebrow raised, Lena barks out a laugh, "oh? And he thinks it'll come from me?"

When Kara speaks next it sounds painfully familiar to just a few weeks ago, like she's talking to a friend and not an interviewee. "Lena, I know it's bull. You've done nothing but prove yourself to this city - to me - but people don't forgive easily… They're scared to let their guard down. It's not fair, but keep proving them wrong."

Kara ends her plea with blue eyes ablaze. Lena has often wondered how she so easily wears her heart on her sleeve. Is she asking for it to be smashed? But no matter how cynical the CEO is, she's never been very good at saying no the Kara.

Her plan was to hold out for a month. It's childish, and maybe even petty, but while her heart is on board with falling into Kara's arms, her mind is still anxiously replaying the night they kissed. They night Kara - Supergirl - lied.

Her calculated mind has always been a point of pride. When it comes to work Lena doesn't let much hurt her - she can't with a name like Luthor. If you responded to every stone thrown you'd just end up bludgeoned to death when you could have been building a damn shield. As for her personal life? That's more complicated. It seems her analytical disposition only comes out when it's the most damaging. While her heart patches up the wound, Lena can't stop dissecting her interactions with Kara. She desperately wants to believe that Kara won't hurt her again. She wants to believe that Kara isn't just giving lip service to these ideas and truly knows that Lena isn't her brother. But sometimes she wonders how much Kara means. Guess now is a great time to find out.

Sighing, Lena takes off her blazer. It's just really been a shit few weeks. She moves to the couch, settling in for what looks like a long interview. It feels too intimate already, but Lena is exhausted.

She motions for the blonde to join her on the couch and Kara stumbles forward, her eye catching the marbled chess board. It was such a stupid purchase - like, she'll be paying it off for another month - but god was it worth it.

The couch gives slightly as Kara settles into it. Lena notes how it dips more than expected. She wonders how much the Super actually weights with all those Kryptonian muscles...

Her eyes snap up to meet Kara's, but she's distracted trying to get the ink to flow from her pen. Once it does, Lena starts:

"Alex Blake is incredibly talented, but I'm concerned he's too myopic."

Kara looks up curiously.

"How's that a bad thing?"

Lena stays quiet for a moment. She gently clicks her tongue. "This next bit is off the record. I'm sure you'll know when you can start quoting me again."

She's met with honest eyes.

"We want to believe as children - and I supposed adults want this too - that good always triumphs. And this always makes me think of Lex."

Kara wasn't expecting this.

"He was so much smarter than Superman-" Catching the flashes in the blonde's eyes, Lena can't help but rolls her slightly. _Calm down Supergirl._ "I know. I know that sounds wrong. But from an IQ, test and grades perspective it's a fact. And then with whatever war machine he built, he was at least as strong as him. Lex didn't lose because Superman was stronger or smarter than him. He lost because of his singular focus. He defeated himself - which, yes, thank god."

Kara looks utterly perplexed and more than a little tense, but if Lena stops now her point with be completely eschewed by the Super's instinct. She bits the nail of a finger absentmindedly - something she hasn't done for years - before mustering up the courage to speak again. If it wasn't for this display of nerves, it'd be impossible to tell that she's anxious because the words come out like Lena wrote and rehearsed them.

"In the beginning, it truly was about protecting people - completely twisted and wrong of course. Lex is a xenophobe and bigot - but he was focused on 'his' people, concerned by what these alien races would _supposedly_ do to them. But his passion changed to obsession and then it was no longer about the people. It was about killing Superman. That's when he lost.

Superman though, he cares about people - all people. And people demand to be treated as individuals. It's our nature. We demand unique and ever-changing focus. Destruction just demands totality.

Lex was too obsessed with his singular mission that he ruined any genius or creativity he could have used to win. It didn't have to do with good and evil. It had to do with shortsightedness, with obsession.

Is Blake single-minded or multifaceted? I don't know. If he can't see beyond his goal, though, then he'll never reach it.

Is he looking into how aliens will be identified to qualify for this benefit and how to do that safely? Is he planning on just an honor system because while it circumvents the need for identification, it crushes any opportunity for government funding? Is he willing to address the anger some people will naturally have to this plan or is he going to push through hoping the furry dies down - and it won't?"

Kara started to writing notes furiously through the last part of Lena's monologue, but now she pauses to push her glasses up, peering at Lena through the frames.

Lena's heart stops and for a second she thinks about saying to hell with the "month plan" and just kissing the woman in front of her. But, unlike her brother, Lena does not have a singular focus and she can't help but analyze the low odds of this solving anything in her life. Instead, she just pines privately.

"Would L-Corp help?"

Lena cocks her head to the side, curious as to what Kara means.

"With technology, security - if Home Space went for government funding and needed identification, would L-Corp hep."

There's no doubt that they're both thinking of the "broken" detection device. The question pushes Lena into business mode. She even squares her shoulders without realizing it.

"L-Corp hasn't been approached, nor do we currently have a product capable of that task."

It's incredibly PC. Lena is addressing the press, not Kara. But the part about the device? That's a little bit for Kara.

"And - and if they asked for help? Would you make something?" The pad and pen have been forgotten. Kara is just burning holes into Lena.

"And whose asking: Kara or Supergirl?" It's said without malice, just melancholy.

Kara's mouth twists, but she responds. "They're both a part of me Lena. I'm not pretending or lying. Everyone has sides they don't show - mine is just a bit more... extreme."

Lena nods thoughtfully, letting the pieces click into place.

"I want everyone to be safe. And when I say everyone, I mean _everyone_."

* * *

After the interview concludes, Kara gently tucks her notebook back into the bag and gets up to leave. Politely, Lena walks her to the door.

Hand on the knob, Kara stops. Something has been poking at the back of her mind. She turns to face Lena, eyes soft and slightly worried.

"I still don't think I get what you were saying - about Lex."

Lena laughs nervously.

"I knew it was too good to be true when you didn't ask about any of that."

"Do you really think Superman lost just because he…" Kara searches for the words, "wasn't clouded by obsession?"

Lena smile sadly. "I think he won because of who he was fighting for, not who he was trying to destroy. People demand special attention, but they also demand love. And that's a hell of a thing to fight for."

Digesting this information, Kara nods slowly.

"Don't only the good guys love though?" She asks this trying to point out a flaw in Lena's theory that 'Good always triumphs' is false.

A painful shadow falls over Lena's face.

"The bad guy can love too, but he just doesn't fight for it…"

He.

Kara thinks to reach out and kiss her. She can see the woman slipping into her past. She can see Lena questing what she'd have had to do to be worth fighting for. And all Kara wants to say is that she'd do nothing _but_ fight for her.

But then Lena is reaching around the blonde and opening the door. Smiling sadly she says, "I hope you got what you needed tonight. Goodnight, Kara."


	10. Chapter 10

Alex is shaking her head violently as she teeters on a bar stool. She nurses a beer, slightly buzzed but fully sobered by whatever Maggie just told her.

"That is... no, Maggie. _No_ _way_." She shakes her head comically again.

The cop shrugs and fights back a smile.

"It's pretty obvious, Danvers."

Alex puts her hand up in the universal sign for stop and, hanging her head, takes a gulping breath like she's gonna be sick. Hand still in the air she looks up at Maggie dramatically.

"My sweet, goofy sister _is not_ into Lena Luthor." The name comes out in a harsh whisper. Maggie, fighting back a huge smirk, opens her mouth to speak only to be cut off by a string of no's from her girlfriend. "Kara isn't..." she leans forward and whispers the next part in the same harsh tone as before, " _gay_ "

Maggie's brows arches in perplexed amusement.

"So she wants to make out with Lena Luthor in a straight way?"

Alex sputters and almost topples her beer.

"It's a phase - it has to be a phase."

Maggie raises one eyebrow. "Are you hearing yourself or are you one of those weird homophobic lesbians."

Alex grimaces, having the humility to look slightly ashamed. "I - uh that was terrible of me." Maggie shrugs in agreement. There's no malice, but maybe a tiny bit irked.

"You'd just rather her not be gay for Lena Luthor -"

"- exactly!" Alex cuts off her girlfriend's sentence.

"- even if it makes her happy."

"Oh." Her shoulders immediately slump and she drops her head into a hand.

Maggie takes a sip of her beer. "You're on a roll tonight."

Alex groans and tips her head into her hands, covering her eyes. "I'm a horrible lesbian and a horrible sister." A warm hand closes around her wrist and Maggie tugs gently until Alex peeks up.

"You're an amazing sister. Kind of a horrible lesbian, but an _amazing_ sister." Maggie jokes before giving her a playful, but sincere smile and tightly squeezes Alex's hand.

"I just don't trust her. I know Kara's an adult -"

"- A _super-powered_ adult," Maggie adds.

Rolling her eyes, Alex concedes. "A super-powered adult. But that doesn't mean she still can't get her heart broken."

Maggie's face twists into a knowing look and she sighs into a sip of beer. "Ain't that the truth."

"Maybe I can have Lena arrested and then we don't even have to go down this path!"

Maggie's about to reply when she notices Alex's eyes widen happily, seeing something behind her. The shorter woman turns slightly to find Kara walking through the doorway.

"Hey, little Danvers!"

The two do a warm half hug before Kara sits down.

"Vodka soda? Wine? Gin and juice?"

"Alien," Kara sighs.

Alex and Maggie exchange a look.

"Sure thing," the cop says tentatively, glancing over at Alex quickly. "First rounds on me. Maybe first two," she adds mostly to herself.

Hopping off of the stool, Maggie saunters to the bar leaving the sisters alone. Alex's eyes follow the woman, a small smile on her face before she remembers her company. Turning to face Kara, Alex gives her a sympathetic grimace.

"Bad Snapper day?"

"Always, but not particularly out of the ordinary."

Alex gives her a curious look and Kara tries to meet it with a smile, but she's a horrible liar and diverts her eyes when she realizes her sister isn't buying it.

"How many times will I have to ask until you tell me what's up?"

"N-nothing I-"

"Okay so at least two. What's up Kara? That's three by the way."

Maggie hangs back at the bar giving Kara some privacy. And selfishly she does not want to be around when The Lena Crush is confirmed.

Alex's eyes soften.

"C'mon Kara. You know you can tell me anything. Like that time you peed in the pool and the lifeguard swam through it."

The look she gets is murderous.

"I'm just saying... I'm here for you."

Kara looks down thoughtfully, studying her hands.

"I-I'm not ready to talk about it, okay?"

The redhead watches her compassionately, nodding as she figures out what she wants to say. She leans in a bit and uses a gentle voice, one she uses after pulling a kid out of the clutches of danger.

"Whatever it is I support you. Even if it's kinda crazy and maybe I don't love it - I support it. I _love_ you."

Kara looks up and worries her lip.

"No matter what?"

She receives a grin in response.

"No matter what. You're stuck with me." The sound of approaching boots cuts the tension of the moment, Alex's eyes brightening as she fixes Maggie with an excitable smile. "More beer!"

"Against my better judgment." The wink makes Alex roll her eyes but she still gives her girlfriend a kiss on the cheek.

The brunette turns to Kara, taking a seat.

"I'm glad you've started joining us here again. It's been awhile. I almost missed you."

Adjusting her glasses, Kara shrugs.

"Well, after the whole thing with Mon-El I didn't really want to run into him."

Alex asks if they patched things up, but she doesn't sound like she particularly cares one way or another.

"Uh, kinda? I mean I saw him once and it was really awkward, but I'm hoping that we can... just not talk about it again. Or to each other again."

That Alex's raises her glass for.

"Here, here."

Kara laughs, more at Alex than what she meant.

"It's just easier to get along since he and Winn became such good friends, so I might as well not stir the pot."

The agent snorts and nudges Maggie, "now if only _they_ were the other gay ones."

Kara's head snaps up at that and Maggie slowly closes her eyes in a mental facepalm over her girlfriend's drunken lack of foresight.

Catching the uncomfortable reaction, Alex's eyes go wide. She brings her glass up to her mouth, whispering the words out sheepishly into her beer.

"The other gay ones. As in me and Maggie. Just us. The gays."

Half of her drink is gone by the time she sets it down again.

On a Tuesday night, the bar is slow and way too quiet to get pretend to get lost in the surrounding action.

Alex, feeling the panic of practically outing her sister, brings the beer back to her mouth but starts rambling before she takes a sip.

Maggie snaps the redheads name out through tight lips and tips the glass back so Alex is forced to drink and shut her mouth.

Processing the implications of what Alex said a few minutes ago is already overwhelming. There's no way she wants to hash the details out with a drunk Alex. Kara finds an excuse to leave within the next 15 minutes.

* * *

Lena requests that Jess picks up CatCo's next issue. She's not concerned that her recent dilemma with Kara would affect the reporter - Kara has too much integrity for that - but, flipping through the magazine anxiously, Lena hopes the other woman's words will reveal something, will pacify the thudding in her chest and pain in her heart.

They don't, not really.

The article is truly superb. Kara captured the complexity of the issue and the hope of the conference beautifully, the two sides juxtaposed to present a subtle tension throughout the piece. Lena sighs and closes the magazine. What was she expecting? "I love Lena Luthor" in place of the feature photo?

Her cheeks flush uncharacteristically and Lena opens her laptop to send the writer a thank you. The story really was very well done. Lena's proud of Kara but she doesn't say that in the email. Instead she keeps it cool and professional, though at the back of her mind she thinks that no CEO would personally thank a reporter for doing their job.

* * *

Kara hunches over her computer screen, pushing up the bridge of her glasses as they slide down when a ping alerts her of an incoming message.

 _1 new message._

It's from Lena.

Kara glances around. There's no chance anyone could see her screen but she's feeling particularly jittery. She probably looks like she's found a dirty photo or something with how conspicuous she's behaving but the nerves are too much to control.

A sharp "click" and the email is open.

Kara frowns. She rereads it. Her frown deepens.

It's three lines, very professional. Lena even kept her signature at the bottom.

Disappointed, Kara dips back from the screen and slumps into the chair. She shouldn't have expected more, especially in their current situation, but she thought there'd at least be a smiley face. I mean, is a declaration of love too much to ask?

She's pouting miserably, contemplating if she should reply. In the end, Kara just closes her laptop. Why bother replying when Lena didn't even seem to care in the first place, she surmises, pout turning into genuine sadness.

This rain cloud has really been following her around lately, growing only more dreary since hanging out with Alex and Maggie last night. Remembering their almost-conversation makes Kara's stomach flop. She's not really to dissect that whole situation. In fact, she even turned down Alex's offer for a movie night just to avoid anymore awkwardness for the time being.

With a sigh, she sinks lower into the wobbly chair.

Kara knew life as Supergirl would be lonely, but she didn't expect life as Kara Danvers to be a bummer too.

The self-pity has been at an all-time high since Lena's rejection - if that's the right word and Lara thinks it's unfairly not - but after weeks of this, she knows she has to make a choice. Either she and Lena are just professional contacts or she's not-so-secretly in love with the most stubborn, angsty, beautiful woman in the world. What she _should_ do is pretty obvious, but Kara still forces herself to think through both options.

Eyes closed, breath slow, she tries to picture what it would be like to just be Lena's casual friend. Monday afternoon, walking in for an interview, Lena's polite but distant smile, hello 'Ms. Luthor,' 'Hello Ms. Danvers' - or would she still say 'Kara'? She tries it both ways but either option feels equally hollow. She imagines if Lena started dating - that makes her want to wretch - and how she would hear about it on some sleazy blog. Or she thinks about Lena winning an award and not being invited to the dinner. The knotting pain in her stomach makes Kara gasp; she didn't realize she was holding her breath that whole time.

Steadying herself, she allows her mind to ponder what could happen if she fought for Lena. This time when her stomach twists it's in a good way. They're holding hands, she's brushing hair out of Lena's eyes. Then they're at L-Corp. Kara is blushing as she interviews the CEO who is being much too flirtatious. Lena leans in like she's going to kiss her. Kara then lets herself picture them snuggling and watching movies and finally kissing and walking to lunch together and looking at the stars and having dates and fighting but always coming back to each other and all of a sudden Kara can't _breathe_ and her heart is pounding and oh _Rao_ , this is crystal clear.

Taking a deep breath, she straightens up and adjusts her button-down.

"Okay, no more moping," she quietly says to herself. "Game face." Eyes narrow, brow furrows - it's the kind of facade that would make Lena Luthor appear cold and intimidating, but Kara just looks like a slightly irked golden retriever. With too much force - the chair flies back - Kara stands up and nods to herself. She has a mission. One of the first missions Kara Danvers has had in a while.

She takes off for the exit, passing James, on the way out. Her game face fully intact, he just comically raises an eyebrow and says "hey Edgelord."

Kara feels kind of hardcore though so she ignores his comments. She considers getting a leather jacket maybe, but on second thought it might be hard to fit one over a cardigan.

When the blonde keeps breezing past him, James' curiosity intensifies. He leaves the manila folder on top of the filing cabinet he was leaning on and calls out her name.

"Hey! Kara hold up."

She spins around and tries fixing him with a steady look.

James crinkles his forward and stumbles back a bit at her inhumanly quick stop.

"What are - what are you doing with your face?"

"I-I'm trying to - to look stern and focused."

James runs a hand over his head and laughs.

"Okay, this is definitely a 'my office' talk." He turns to lead them to the spacious room when Kara's voice stops him.

"I can't." The facade drops a little, just hanging on by a thread. The words come out anxious and just a little bit scared.

He gives her a long look, his essential James Look, as if he can see right into her. It's a hard look, but warm and caring too.

"Hey, what's going on?"

A gentle hand lays on her shoulder, but Kara ducks her head, avoiding that his intense gaze.

Glancing around, he shuffled them into a corner for some minimal privacy.

"You've been off for weeks. Whatever it is you can tell me."

Looking up, she worries her lip, the crinkle in her forehead at full display. She remembers what it felt like to love him. He is so kind and loyal. He's a good man, a good friend...

"I messed up - with Lena." His eyes harden unconsciously at the name and Kara shrugs his hand off disappointed and surprised by his continued prejudice. "Forget it. I need to go."

"Hey, I'm sorry. Please? I'm sorry. I'll listen," he holds his hands up. "No judgment this time."

The pair holds each other's gaze for a full 10 seconds before she relents. The anger drops from her eyes and Kara is back to worrying her lip.

"I really..." She avoids eye contact at this. " _care_ about her." When there's no response, Kara peeks up to see the realization confirmed in the slight widening of James' eyes.

"Oh... oh-kay..." The words come out shaky and a little disjointed but there's no malice. He runs his hand over his head again. Kara braces herself.

"Okay? Really? Because I know you and Alex and Maggie and Winn and J'onn don't _trust_ her," Kara's voice picks up in frustration, "- or like her - but you don't even _know_ -"

"Hey, hey," two solid hands come down on her shoulders. "I get it? Okay. We're a bunch of assholes. We weren't fair to her. But that doesn't mean we wouldn't... accept you." He shrugs, adding, "I mean it'd be pretty weird if Alex didn't," before his tone grows serious again," but that doesn't mean we wouldn't try. If we knew... if we understood what she meant to you? We'd try. I'd try."

Kara's voice is small when she finally responds," you'd - you'd try? You promise?"

He crosses his heart and says as much.

A monumental weight lifts off her and Kara takes in a sharp breath before his arms pull her into a tight hug.

"I'm guessing you're off to see her right now so I won't keep you, but I want you to talk to me after. Catch me up, okay? Because I do have my reservations but not because, you know. I just want you to be happy and safe."

He feels her nod against his chest and gives her one last squeeze before letting go.

Pulling away, Kara gives James a watery smile. "You're a great friend."

"My birthday's next month, remember it then." He winks and a playful grin spreads across his face. "Now get outta here," James says with a smack to her arm.

She thanks him again, speeding out of the office.

Kara decides to drop the tough demeanor for now. Lena can pull it off expertly, she thinks, but it's not her greatest asset.

* * *

You know who else can pull it off expertly?

Jess.

Kara is stumbling over her words, trying to come up with an excuse to get into Lena's office but Jess is deflecting every word that Kara says as if it's a professional sport.

"As I said, _Ms. Luthor is very busy_ ," the response comes out through gritted teeth.

Kara nervously bounces from foot to foot. She looks like she has to pee.

"Yes, no I-I understand but, well this is really, _really_ important."

Jess remains unphased.

"Lena would... want to know - I think."

"Email her."

Kara winces. "You see, uh, some conversations," she glances towards the door. Jess easily follows her eyeline and narrows her own eyes giving Kara a don't-you-dare look. "Just some co-conversations are best in person." She starts sliding forwards Lena's office.

"Kara." Jess's eyes are like angry slits. "Do. Not. Ev-"

Kara bolts.

"I'm so sorry! Please don't call security!"

The blonde makes it to the entrance before Jess can even finish cursing. The assistant knows Lena will be displeased, but she'd be furious at Jess if she called security on the Kara Danvers.

* * *

Lena's sitting in her chair, ears perked to the commotion outside before she sees Kara slipping into the office.

The voice of her secretary pops in over the office phone.

"I'm sorry - I tried to stop her but she's _really_ fast. I can call security?" Jess sounds truly flustered.

Lena rolls her eyes before fixing them back on Kara. "That'll be unnecessary, thank you Jess." She doesn't bother the phone with a glance, opting to keep her eyes burning into the blonde.

Having infiltrated the office, Kara suddenly looks like she doesn't mean to be here at all. The reporter nervously fiddles with the cuff of her shirt, shifting her weight slightly from side to side.

"I, uh... wanted to talk to you."

Leaning back Lena crosses her arms. "Well, I figured you weren't here for the skyline view."

The snippy tone makes Kara duck her head. If that Supergirl confidence is going to show up, now would be the time.

Mouth twisted, Lena catches her gaze.

"As much as I enjoy our chats as of late - nothing is quite as relaxing in the afternoon as forced small talk - I have a meeting to prep for."

"Can we just -"

"Talk? No. I trusted you. I don't trust you now. There's your talk. I don't want your side of things."

The brunette starts to get up, collecting a few papers from her desk.

"You're just like everyone else Kara," Lena keeps her eyes down. Her voice is chilly, but Kara can hear something crack in it. "You're like everyone else I thought I could trust and I don't frankly care to go over this one more time." She meets Kara's eyes with a cold, green stare. "I am no longer your pet project. Enjoy your freedom."

"Lena Luthor, you stop right there and sit your butt down."

Lena's eyes are almost comically wide.

"Ex- _excuse_ me?"

"Sit. Down. An-and just stop _talking_ for once."

Lena's mouth drops open and she's shocked to find she's somehow sitting again.

"I want to fight -" Lena's raises an eyebrow."- for you! For you." Kara hastily finishes.

A bit of the mask seems to fall from Lena's face. This isn't what she was expecting- not of this was.

"I..." her face is a mess of perplexities.

Kara straightens up and cuts her off.

"You - you can s-say you don't want me to," she takes in a slow breath, clearing some of the nerves. Her face shifts, just slightly. It sets. "But I think you do. I think..." Kara walks closer to Lena's desk, slowly but sure-footed. "I think you've been waiting for someone to fight for you for a long time, Lena." The blonde stretches her arms out in offering. "I'm here and I'm not giving up. You always say that you're not like your family - well neither than I! I might have broken your trust but I am here to ask you how to fix it. I'd do... I'd do anything to fix it."

Kara walks around the desk, her bravado seeping out a little, shoulders slumping some. "You deserves better. From a lot of people, me included. But _I'm_ not leaving. You can keep pushing but I care enough to stay."

She finally looks up from her feet and meets Lena's eyes. They're somewhere between green and grey right now, the brunette paler than usual.

"Kara..."


End file.
